So I’m Still Going To Lie About My Name!

I hope some of my regular readers will be smiling at the video above, if they have a good memory. If not, let me explain. Last summer I was fortunate enough to visit New York and, among many other adventures (you know, the odd hurricane and such) had my first taste (pun intended) of the Starbucks naming system. See ‘So I Lied About My Name’ for the full story.

Imagine my joy at the news that this way of dealing with customers asking for a cup of coffee is now being launched on these shores! But that’s not all folks. I am not alone. The very funny people over at BBC Radio Four‘s ‘The Now Show‘ have given me an idea. Hear the  mighty John Holmes at about 29.00 minutes into the show

If you can’t or dont have time to listen to the sketch here’s a resume: Starbucks began it’s ‘we’ll call you by your name’ campaign in the U.K. and he shares a couple of the responses. But the one that really grabbed my laughing gear was the person who shouted out, from the back of the queue, “Don’t tell him Pike!”

So here’s the deal. The genius of the comment was that it was:

a) Extremely funny

b) Essentially British

c) Avoided giving your actual name.

Not wishing to be jingoistic I’m going to focus on two of those aspects for my “SO I LIED ABOUT MY NAME” campaign! Here is the challenge…

I’m encouraging everyone who reads this post to visit their local Starbucks. But this visit is about more than just grabbing a coffee! When you are asked for your name I want you to give the funniest response you can think of…and then post it up here in the comments section so we can all have a giggle!

I really like the use of a quote from Dad’s army, so extra brownie points if you can think of and use a quote from a t.v. series or film.

Here’s a couple for free from me:

SBB (Starbuck Barrista):Can I take your name?

Cust: Leeson very carefully, I veel zay this only wonce.

SBB: And your name is?

Cust: Bond…James Bond

SBB: Your name please?

Cust: I am Buzz Lightyear and I come in peace!

And finally, here’s one if you’re in a group:
SB: hi! Name please?
Cust: I am Spartacus . . (cue for all your friends to repeat “No, I am Spartacus ” in turn, down the line.

O.K. my friendly coffee loving folk, off you go and have fun! Don’t forget to tell us what you thought of and leave a comment!


About Stuart Dyer

Stuart Dyer, Christian Writer and Musician living in West Sussex, England. Works in the hope of producing the worthy novel or solo; giggles at Oliver Hardy, Peter Sellers and Spike Jones; admires Hudson Taylor, Dickens, Salinger, Bill Bailey and Neil Peart; listens from Wagner to Miles with lots of stops in between; dances to motown and aims to achieve balance in all things.
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3 Responses to So I’m Still Going To Lie About My Name!

  1. Charlotte Oliver says:

    I’m Brian – and so’s my wife?


  2. Seex Dyer says:

    Excellent! Let us know how it goes…

    For the Jedi among us:
    SBB: And your name?
    Cust: You don’t need to know my name.
    SBB: I don’t need to know your name.
    Cust: You just need to give me my coffee.
    SBB: I just need to give you your coffee…


  3. Pingback: Cycloboy Rides Again 3 | rattledrum

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